Y E S , I G U E S S

03:57 Natasmack 1 Comments

Although I haven't been posting, I've still been writing up a storm. Whenever I have a spare moment I'll grab whatever I can find to write on. I scribble my thoughts down to get them out  of my racing noggin. I've been stuck on a certain topic. Every time I take a minute to write for this blog, I decide I want to write about the power of yes.

The intro to the piece is full of imagery and makes you think about the lovely, tingly exhilarating sensation you get when you take a leap in agreeance. I wanted my writing to inspire  readers to go outside and scream "HELL YES" at the top of their lungs then go kick garbage cans around in bad ass "yes" bliss. When I go to complete the rest of the article, I feel like an even worse poser then Avril Lavigne in her pop punk days. That's saying something. 

How am I suppose to encourage people to take a chance and say yes when I am living a daily struggle to do the same? As much as I want to inspire readers to be daring and confidant, I can't write acting as if I am. I am not a pop punk poser, I'm trying to live authentically. That means I must write authentically.

 Please don't think I am sitting on the side lines in Thailand; humming and hawing over fun opportunities. I've been shocking myself everyday with my yes saying abilities. I've said yes to things that are completely against my old ethics (nothing terrible, scouts honour). Like eating a black egg. Google it. I find that this always happens. The moment you say "I'll never..." You literally jinx the whole situation, so be prepared to do it my friend.

The most recent challenge I've faced was saying yes to moving to Bangkok and starting a 6 month Thai language course. If you go back a few posts, you'll read that I didn't like Bangkok and I couldn't wait to get out of the city. I am the Queen of Changing My Mind. When I was little my Mom used to ask me what my favorite colour was that day, I was never consistent. Sitting at the Thai language school in freezing air con, I closed my eyes and pushed my visa over and signed my future 6 months away to learning a new skill. I'm excited! But more in the way I feel like I might pee my pants out of uncertainty.

This was not how I described saying yes in my rough drafts. Realistically it's more like: "You hold your breath because it feels like an elephant just walked across your chest. A bead of sweat runs down your neck and your eyes frantically flicker around the room in hopes there is something to distract you for a moment. Then it happens, the inevitable gurgling that rumbles your stomach. Your mouth hangs open and "yes" inaudibly falls out. "That wasn't so bad, I guess" you think to yourself. You clear your throat, take a deep breath and say "Yes, okay!"" 

To be fair, I am new at this practice. It's hard but maybe when I start saying yes more it will get easier. I won't feel like I am going to lose my lunch or have a bodily reaction that makes me look like I just stepped out of a hot yoga class. At least I'm not indecisive, and I am trying to change my life to take what I want from it. No sweaty palms will stand in between that.

I regards to my travel alterations, I'll be headed to Vietnam for a month before starting school, so you'll still get to read up on my travel adventures. Once I am Bangkok bound, my blog may take a turn from a documentary to a confessional mixed with special places I find.

I hope this was somewhat inspirational. Saying yes can be a bitch, but I have a feeling it's worth it.



     



1 comment:

  1. Yes! This was a great post. The biggest difference I felt when traveling versus in "real life" was how much more I said "yes" abroad than at home - it's terrifying but worth it!

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