I’ve been extremely lucky to meet some crazy, cool and talented people in Bangkok so far.

Not only am I lucky because the new people in my life are really rad, but because making new friends after moving can be a challenging adventure. Moving can make it really hard to find your place. It takes time and some questioning. Where are the cool coffee shops? Where are the hipsters? Where are my future sweet ass friends? 

Making friends or finding your group of like minded people isn't as easy as it used to be. You can’t just walk into a establishment and ask the guy next to you if he wants a sip of your adult juice box and then become best friends for ever and ever. There are 8.5 million people (Thats right, I said a MILLY) in Bangkok, which poses a challenge in the friend department. As grown ups we need to do a little research. Wether it be a meet up website, instagram creeping or shamelessly downloading Tinder. Tinder is a win win; friends, flirting and maybe something more for when the adult juice box gets empty. 

I met a extra wonderful woman on Tinder who introduced me to all her friends. These amazing people range from DJ’s, artists, designers, business owners and photographers. You can imagine how busy they are. I may not get to see them often and truthfully I don’t remember all of their names, but I can count on seeing or re-meeting them at Go Grrrls. 

Go Grrrls a party crew and a monthly badass queer event in Bangkok. Its a hub for anything indie and underground. If you think that Go Grrrls is a strictly gay night, your wrong.  Although the event is labeled queer; its for anyone who loves partying and indie music. The word queer can be skewed. A lot of people think it simply means gay, but it really it is an umbrella term for the LGBT community. Many people have their own definitions of queer. When I asked Go Grrls what their definition was they explained to me that they see queer as anything that isn't mainstream. If you're listening to a band no one has ever heard of, wearing your best finds from the local thrift store, and not drinking a pumpkin spice latte, you might be able to describe your self as queer.. or a hipster. You choose. 

Go Grrrls is made up of 3 extra bad ass ladies. DJ Dookie (AKA Lady Soma), DJ Cleo P, and DJ Mae Happyair (Click their names to listen!). Each of them are specialized in their own genre. Dookie is Queen of indie-rock, Cleo P throws down with hip-hop and trap, Mae Happyair gets weird to electro and tech-house. The party has been running successfully for 2 years, each one being themed with a new killer style, and some parties have special guests.  On March 4th Go Grrls and another local party crew called Powderpuff are taking the stage with Rich White Ladies at Live RCA in Bangkok! A guaranteed fun night, you must stop by!

Feeling apart of an open community where I can dance my face off, meet new interesting and inspiring people and know that I have a place in Bangkok at least once a month is such a comfort. If you're in Bangkok and you’ve never been to a Go Grrrls event, I strongly urge you to check it out. You’ll have a great time and walk away with a great new selection of music and potential new pals.

You're invited to a party by your incredibly intelligent scientist friend. He tells you that the party you'll be attending is full of his super smart and some ultra geeky fellow scientists. They are Physicists, Microbiologists, Astrophysicists  and some type of “ists” you didn’t know existed.   Between them they are speaking of terms and concepts you’ve never heard of. With the acceptation of dead give away words like “earth”, “equation”, and maybe “biochemistry” you have no idea what they are talking about. At this moment you're kicking yourself wishing that you spent less time doodling your crushes name on your binders in Biology 11. Your incredibly intelligent scientist friend can see that your struggling to keep up, and is translating their jargon into something a little more simple for you to stay involved. Although its confusing you're still smiling and surprisingly enjoying yourself. At the end of the night you’re happy you went to the party, but excited to go home and fall into your world of vocabulary and conversational topics with your cat, roommates or significant other.

My daily life is like a this scientist party. Except its a Thai party. Obviously, I am surrounded by a new culture and a language I've never been exposed to before coming to Thailand. When I first arrived here, the dialect of the Thai language confused me and I could barely get any words out. I  enjoyed being surrounded with a world that was so exotic to me. I quickly learned how to greet and thank people.I learned how to ask for my meals with no meat. Which worked 70% of the time. Then I was lucky enough to meet some local people. My vocabulary slowly grew and and with some help from an app I could say a little more and more everyday. Being a foreigner in a new group of Thai friends has been good for me. I can start to pick up common words and tones. Although I have no idea what they are directly saying, I can slightly pick up the topic of the conversation.

I am ashamed to admit this, but there was a moment for me where I was permanently frustrated. I wanted to be able to go into a restaurant and order exactly what I wanted, or walk into a room full of new people and be able to communicate and show my personal character. I am incredibly independent and outgoing, facing this barrier; I started feeling really lonely. The first moment I felt this was while riding in a late night cab. The two women I was riding with are very close friends. They were talking about work. I was overwhelmed with frustration and that pertinent pang of missing my friends. I flashed back to nights where my friends and I would pile into a cab and talk about the nights events. I really wanted to be apart of it, but because of the language I spoke, rather, couldn't speak; I was unable to be apart of the conversation.

Selfishly, I was annoyed. I so badly wanted to be able to speak for myself, and not have to be translated. I felt why whit and sass was lost in translation, and who am I without those charming attributes? Luckily, this moment only lasted a few days and I started to loose the single minded way of thinking.

I cant go around demanding people speak english because of my feelings. I made the decision to fly myself into a country where the culture and language unfamiliar. I need to deal with the frustrations myself or sharing them with third party observers; the cats. When faced with these situations I've learned to talk slowly, smile and attempted my best at any Thai. I try and speak to everyone, wether its English or Thai. By nature I love to talk, when the opportunity presents its self, I am like motor. Barely stoping for a breath. When it looks like I am being faced with a weekend of pure Thai, I try to wear a permeant smile and make up stories about what people are talking about based off body language and tones I discovered to be positive or negative. With my imagination, this sometimes can get a little out of hand.

I will be starting thai lessons in the foreseeable future, but for now I'm learning how to be myself without language. Its challenging, and I do have my selfish moments. The devils advocate that plays in my head always reminds me to relax and that my Chatty Cathy time will come. For now flashing peace signs and the Thai bow will do just fine.

    

Accepting the changes of a new home.

We really enjoyed our adventures in Phong Nha, but something about Vietnam wasn't winning us over. We knew that we had to give it more then a week before we formed a solid opinion. We were having a hard time fitting in. That may be a strange way of explaining it, because we aren't brace faced teenagers trying to win the hearts of the popular kids. It was very simple transition from Canada to Thailand. We were having a hard time finding our place as backpackers from Thailand to Vietnam.

After Phong Nha, we traveled to Hue by sleeper bus. The bus was over filled. People were laying on the floor and amongst those people was courageous Jenika. She graciously let me have the seat as a noble knight does for any diva.  It's common for the busses to be over crowded. I've seen bus drivers ask locals to leave their seats so tourists can have them. Which may seem like a kind gesture, I find it uncomfortable and awkward. 

When we arrived in Hue, we sat down for breakfast and tried to somewhat plan the rest of our trip. We planned things that we wanted to see, and tried to alter our beachy expectation of Vietnam. I should have known better, my plans rarely stick and are ever changing. During breakfast we kept talking about Thailand. We tried not to compare the two countries but we were having a hard time. We really love Thailand. With one familiar look from Jen, I knew she had a game plan. If you don't know already, Jenika is a Make-It-Happen wizard. I've seen this girl turn a piece of fabric into a fabulous birthday dress, a cheap can of soup into a main course masterpiece and now she was going to turn Vietnam into Thailand.

First we made a pros and cons list. We didn't want to leave Vietnam because we missed Thailand. It didn't seem like a valid enough reason.  We worked through our finances, flights, visas and carefully weighed our options. This deliberation took hours. We didn't want to be rash, and we sure weren't going to back out because Vietnam wasn't what we planned it to be. All in all, it's not Vietnam's fault. It was our poor planning that ultimately lead us to this moment. We ended up flying from Hue to Ho Chi Minh City that night. We adjusted all our flights, sorted out visa issues. Instead of flying home on the 27th, we'd be BKK-ing on the 13th. 

We had 5 days in Ho Chi Minh city before we flew out. We really enjoyed our time there. We even made it to a beach. We took a bus to Vung Tau, and laid like lizards for hours. We found wonderful vegetarian restaurants and tried new Vietnamese food. We started feeling like backpackers again, and not like annoying dumb tourists. We even made a few new local friends. One night we decided to check out Ben Thanh Market in the heart of Ho Chi Minh City. We were walking though a park when a smiley young woman approached us and asked if we had a minute to talk. We said yes, because as backpackers we have an infinite amount of time to simply chat. We were greeted by 2 other women. They asked us to sit on the ground with them. I thought they were going to ask me a few questions, and that would be it. We ended up talking for an hour and a half. We swapped stories about our countries, what we did for work, our hobbies and passions. I found out that these lovely women were practicing english for an exam. Before we knew it more people started sitting around us. At one point we had an audience of 10 people wanting to talk to us and practice their english. It was a little overwhelming, but I really enjoyed meeting new people who were so eager to learn.

As the days passed Jen and I were starting to get anxious. We so badly wanted to get back to Thailand. We had a couple dangerous moments that only pushed our desire back to Thailand. One being that I nearly saw Jenika get hit by a scooter. It was such a close call. We looked both ways, and took our first steps to cross the road when this pink scooter piled high with people whipped around the corner and nearly whipped out guava snacking Jenika. We retreated safely to the side walk and were dead silent. Which is saying something cause we are always talking, singing, or shouting. Then to top it off, we saw a dead cat and Jen walked through human urine. That was a full day.

Our time in Nam came to a close, and with some really great experiences and some not really great experiences; we are happy with the decision we made to leave early. We also decided that those 13 days weren’t our last time in Vietnam. I would totally go back there, now that I know what to expect and acknowledge that there needs to be some sort of planning to have an optimal experience. 

Firstly, my 60 day visa for Thailand had expired and I needed to leave the country. I really didn't want to leave cause I was having so much fun. Secondly, Jen and I had planned Vietnam to be a  beach vacation for a month. We imagined parking our glowing white asses on soft sandy beaches to flourish into bronzed, coconut drinking, salty haired babes. Thirdly, we did not research what to expect. Which ultimately supported terrible packing decisions, startling culture shock and two hungry vegetarians.

After collecting our belongings, Jen and I headed to the Bangkok airport to fly to Hanoi. We flew out at 6am on January 1st. Yes, you can assume we did not sleep and may have had remnants of spilled Leo on our bodies. Despite our graceful exit out of Thailand; we were excited to see a new country, try the ever coveted pho, and hit up the white sandy beaches we have been lusting over. 

We flew from Bangkok into Hanoi. This city is located in northern Vietnam. Being off season, and where its geographically located. It was farking cold. I'm talking an easy 20 degree difference then Bangkok. "No problem!" We said. Well just bundle up in our warmest clothing and work to head south as fast as we can. Unpacking my bag, I realized I left all my warmest clothes in sweaty Bangkok. When I was packing all I was thinking was "BEACH" not "CANADA". Luckily I had one pair of cropped yoga pants, and a sweater. Which I so stylishly wore with frilly hiking socks and dirty berkinstocks for days. Remember how I went to fashion school? My inner diva was crushed and shes still trying to recover from that revolting style challenged moment.

Hanoi, which we cleverly renamed "Hanoisey" is quite a interesting city. The down town is a grid of busy streets, filled with Bun Mi and Pho restaurants, cafes, and specialty shops offering decorations, souvenirs, and knock off H&M. C'mon Nam.. Knock off H&M? Immediately we noticed the commuters. Not because of flashy cars, but because they were so loud. Hence "Hanoisey". Everyone was beeping their horns. I could not figure out why. It seemed that instead of using an indicator, they just used and abused their horns. Not only are the commuters loud but scary. We nearly lost our life every time we crossed the street. Scooters are the primary mode of transportation. Every which way we were being circled by scooters. The driving rules in Vietnam is there are no rules. Just go, and go fast. Crossing the street became a game for us. The trick is to walk into on coming traffic and trust that the driver knows what their doing. This may sound like I'm being sarcastic, I'm not. 

Due of our attire and need for sunshine was stronger then ever. We moved on from Hanoi quickly. Headed south we  used our open bus ticket to explore Phong Nha. This town is small and slightly turned out by tourists. We were disappointed by this, but being in a touristy town for a few days isn't that bad. Especially because of the killer mountainous views and lush jungle forests that surrounded the town. We stayed at Easy Tiger hostel, which we loved. It had amazing veggie options for food, extremely clean rooms and a wonderful social scene.  It also has free bike rentals and incredibly helpful staff who helped us plan our days. 

The first day in Phong Nah we rented bikes and explored the country side. I absolutely love biking, this was such a highlight for me. On the dusty streets we passed cows, chickens, and children yelling out any English words they knew. We watched farmers work on their fields and dogs playfully chase us. It was so peaceful in comparison to Hanoi. 

The next day we rented a scooter to explore Paradise Cave. Jen was the masterful pilot and I was the gravel paranoid backseat driver. I've seen so many backpackers with bandaged feet and hands due to scooter accidents and I was determined not to be one. After a while I loosened up and told Jen I no longer required her to tell me whenever a bump was approaching. 

Arriving at Pariadise cave we were excited. I've never been in a cave before and I didn't know what to expect. We hiked to the cave mouth, and after scaling the steep wooden stair case. We were officially spelunking. We were welcomed by glorious stalagmites and stalactites. These bad boys are monstrous. It felt like we entered Dracula's cave which prompted us to spend the whole adventure talking like vampires. By throwing our Dracula voices we discovered a mind boggling echo. We defiantly were those obnoxious tourists playing with nature. I unfortunately forgot my camera, so google images will have to be your Paradise cave tour guide. 

After a bit of a culture shock in Hanoi, then seeing the beautiful scenery in Phong Nha. We had some mixed feelings about Vietnam. We weren't sure if we liked it or disliked it. It had only been a few days so we couldn't make a fully informed opinion. We weren't getting exactly what we wanted, we decided to be patient and see what the rest of Vietnam had to offer.

   

Recently, I called my mom to share my concerns about my new adventure. With the magic Momma touch she made me instantly feel better. In my speech about the uncertainties I was facing I said "What if I get home sick?". My Mom started laughing. She reminded me that I've never been home sick. 

Okay maybe I've been home sick before, but never enough to actually DO something about it. 

I had this mock homesick feeling yesterday evening after taking a cab with two friends. The two women I took the taxi with are close, good friends. They were speaking in Thai, I've been really good to listen carefully hoping that I might pick something up. In this instance I stopped listening and  started thinking. In my radio silence I could only think of the cab rides home with my friends, or walking into my old apartment to be greeted by the people who know me best. Even though I am surrounded by amazing and kind new people I still have a nagging feeling to be around my friends and family. 

Giving my friends and family a hug isn't an option. I've come up with a few ways to remedy my sad gal emotions. Firstly; a solo run in the park followed by good music, a great outfit including my moonstone bracket (the hocus pocus stone that balances emotions), and cute Cafe. Where I'll drink a blended and sweet beverage and do something creative like write or draw.  I also tell my people how much I miss them and send them cyber hugs. It's a simple solution to help me feel surrounded by my friends and family who are miles away.

With some practice, I've got this down pat. Missing people is the worst, but helping myself feel better and with the kind words of my friends this moment will easily pass. Enjoy the time with your friends and family this holiday season and give them big hugs (cyber and real)!